Description

Strategies for avoiding tantrums and keeping them from coming back.

1. Minimize the need to say, "No".
   Store breakable items: and if possible, dangerous furniture.
2. Use distraction.
   When frustration begins to mount, redirect the child to less frustrating or more acceptable activity.
3. Present choices within the limits of what is acceptable.
   "Do you want to wear your red pajamas or your blue ones?"
4. Pick your battles carefully.
   The more important the issue, Safety, for example, the more firmness and consistency are required.
5. When a preschool child throws a tantrum, stay within the child's sight and carry on normal activities without talking to him.
   Some preschoolers need to be held in order to regain control.
6. For an older child, establish the rule that he must go to his room until he calms down.
   When a tantrum occurs, tell him to leave, but do not lecture, threaten or argue. Model self-control.
7. Take into account that your own emotions may interfere with effective management of a tantrum.
   Never let a child hurt himself, or others,including you. A child who is in danger of hurting himself (thrashing around on a hard floor, for example) should be moved to a safer place.
8. Use words like "out of control" instead of "bad child" to describe tantrum-throwing behavior.
   Praise the child's ability to regain control after a tantrum. You might say, "You did a good job of getting yourself under control."
9. Once a tantrum is over, the child is entitled to start over with a clean slate.
   Comfort may be given, but any original demands the child had should not be fulfilled. Otherwise, tantrums will become a way of life.
10. "Catch your child being good."
    Try to establish an environment of positive reinforcement in the household, by commenting on and praising desirable behavior every few minutes as a general habit.
    

Available media

• Managing normal tantrums: 10 tips for parents.

Keywords: aggression,anger,behavior,behavior management,parent training,parenting,tantrums
Publication date: May 27, 2004
Revise date: Feb 7, 2006
TextID: 16